Happy New Year everyone!It is only the rich Grace of an awesome God that has made partaking in the celebration of yet another year possible.2012 exposed me to experiences in life that l thought was an exclusive preserve for everyone but me.l survived waves of dashed hopes,learnt to stretch monies,surrendered to the leading and prompting of the Holy Spirit and realized that when push comes to shove you can only give what you have.
In 2013 l am not going to give up the privilege of looking up to God who has consistently been faithful.l am going to look away from the hands and legs of men and train my daughters to do same.
The weight of procrastination,idleness,laziness and blame trading will not be permitted to mock my hopes and plans in 2013.so help me God!
Tuesday 1 January 2013
Saturday 29 December 2012
Rules to live by
The responsibility of single parenting is no child's play and can be mind bugging at times.the following are actions that have eased the strain and made the journey less of a burden.
Action (1):Always commit your day to the creator of the universe.l call him father,husband,way maker,good shepherd and friend.your children must recognize the intimate commitment you have with prayer and prayer times and be excited to follow suit.
Action(2):Teach your children to be independent.they should learn to care for themselves and care for their environment.they should be able to take showers and groom themselves without supervision.my girls pride themselves for being able to make their beds,take their bath themselves and also help out to dust and clean the house.
Action(3):Shop for groceries in bulk if you can afford to,cook bulk meals and store in the deep freezer in small micro wave containers.l prefer to do my bulk cooking during the weekends,that way l am only saddled with heating as we need.saves a lot tof time.
Action(4):Be consistent with the kids especially as it concerns rules.In our home bedtime is 8pm for the girls and they know that the time is not subject to negotiation,no food in the bedroom,prayers before meals,bedtime and upon rising,no treats outside the home except on Fridays.Children are generally wired to receive and obey rules,they are alert to note if it is a rule or a wish.
Action (1):Always commit your day to the creator of the universe.l call him father,husband,way maker,good shepherd and friend.your children must recognize the intimate commitment you have with prayer and prayer times and be excited to follow suit.
Action(2):Teach your children to be independent.they should learn to care for themselves and care for their environment.they should be able to take showers and groom themselves without supervision.my girls pride themselves for being able to make their beds,take their bath themselves and also help out to dust and clean the house.
Action(3):Shop for groceries in bulk if you can afford to,cook bulk meals and store in the deep freezer in small micro wave containers.l prefer to do my bulk cooking during the weekends,that way l am only saddled with heating as we need.saves a lot tof time.
Action(4):Be consistent with the kids especially as it concerns rules.In our home bedtime is 8pm for the girls and they know that the time is not subject to negotiation,no food in the bedroom,prayers before meals,bedtime and upon rising,no treats outside the home except on Fridays.Children are generally wired to receive and obey rules,they are alert to note if it is a rule or a wish.
Thursday 20 December 2012
Loneliness and singleparenthood
It's amazing how life can throw a curve ball at you;one phase of your life has you going through life confident that you would have that special someone in your life with you forever,that's not too much to expect from someone who made your spin with excitement and reel with laughter.The one who needed only to look at your face to interpret your moods.Then without notice he is out of the door and out of your life leaving you to decide if all the show and acts of love were a figment of your imagination.
The truth must be told living without a significant other is not as easy as most independent single mothers would readily portray.lt is tougher when the child or children as the case may be grew up with a picture of a whole family unit.Except of cause in the case of death.
Like most independent single mothers l get myself muddled in my business and taking care of the children that am so knocked out of energy at the end of the day to bother about loneliness.l must confess though,that l am sometimes choked up with a longing for emotional validation and intimacy.
My daughters are a handfull and the task of keeping up with them occupies my thoughts, leaving no room for loneliness,whether perceived or imagined.maybe when they are in their teens and preoccupied with adolescence l may have the chance or time to strut my stuff and whet my whistle.Until then it is break-fast ,school run, home run,lunch,laundry,play date????????????
The truth must be told living without a significant other is not as easy as most independent single mothers would readily portray.lt is tougher when the child or children as the case may be grew up with a picture of a whole family unit.Except of cause in the case of death.
Like most independent single mothers l get myself muddled in my business and taking care of the children that am so knocked out of energy at the end of the day to bother about loneliness.l must confess though,that l am sometimes choked up with a longing for emotional validation and intimacy.
My daughters are a handfull and the task of keeping up with them occupies my thoughts, leaving no room for loneliness,whether perceived or imagined.maybe when they are in their teens and preoccupied with adolescence l may have the chance or time to strut my stuff and whet my whistle.Until then it is break-fast ,school run, home run,lunch,laundry,play date????????????
How to Explain the absence of their father
My daughters are five and three years old respectively and they trade back and forth questions to me about their father and his whereabouts.they play pretend about holiday getaways with their father and all the fun they would enjoy with him.Their yearning is worse during birthdays and festive celebrations.As a mother l initially played along with them,but it recently dawned on me that I was stringing their hopes with fragile twine that is certain to snap back in their faces.
I sat them both on my laps and told them that their father loves them but is at a station in his life where he cannot commit to be in their life. l told them that there are different types of families,and that the accepted one globally is the one where they would have both parents living with them but that circumstances do not always make it so.l ended my explanation with a declaration of undiluted love for them that cannot be rivaled by any circumstance.
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